These dating rules for success do not include any instructions that ask you to represent yourself in a way that is not truly you. There are areas where self-improvement is recommended, however. The goal of these dating rules is to inspire you to be your best so that you can attract the best partner for you!
These rules are based on extensive research on this topic. In most cases, the short description of each rule is enough for successful implementation of the advice. If you want more information on these dating rules there are many references to related articles on this site.
1. Get Yourself Motivated
Get yourself motivated to find a compatible dating partner who you truly enjoy, a person with whom you can build a productive and fulfilling relationship. Finding a good match will take some time, effort, and perseverance. This will require a strong source of motivation.
Here’s how: First, visualize yourself in a magnificent relationship. Picture every glorious detail. Then visualize yourself in a horrible relationship and picture every nasty detail. Create these visualizations by recalling your own relationship experiences and/or those of other couples you’ve observed.
Motivation is created when we imagine the pleasure we will feel by having something we desire– like a great relationship. Motivation is intensified when we imagine the pain we will feel if we were to end up with something we hate instead– like a bad relationship. Use these opposing mental strategies to create a relentless motivation to find the person who’s right for you!
If you want more information and guidance on this topic read my article entitled, “How to Create Relentless Motivation to Find the Right Partner for You!”
2 . Do a Personal Evaluation
What is the condition of your life? Have you become the person that you know that you can be? Where do you stand emotionally, physically, socially, and financially? Your future dating experiences will reflect the strengths and weaknesses that exist in each of these areas. Get your life in order before you start inviting others to make investments in you!
Do this by conducting a personal evaluation of all the major areas of your life. Determine what areas need improvement, identify the solutions, set goals, and then get to work. Once you are satisfied with the changes you’ve made and have gotten into the habit of working toward your remaining long-term goals you’ll be ready to start dating.
If you want more information and guidance on this topic read my article entitled, “Self Evaluation & Preparation for Relationship Success.”
3. Get Your Teeth Fixed and Cleaned
The goal of this dating rule is fresh breath. Nothing is more of a turn off than bad breath. Bad breath, which is often caused by a dental or periodontal problem, is usually not noticeable by the person who has it. Cup your hand over your mouth, blow into it, and then smell it. If there’s the slightest hint of odor you may have a problem.
If you haven’t had your teeth checked and cleaned in the last six months, get it done! If you have a cosmetic problem that affects your confidence, get it fixed if you have the money. If you don’t have the money now, just come to terms with it by adding it to your list of long-term goals. At the very least get your teeth and gums healthy so that your breath will be fresh and ready for romance!
4. Identify Your Target
Create a detailed description of the person you want. With a clear vision of the person you want, you will attract and be able to recognize them when they enter your life. Without it, most of your efforts will be a waste of time.
Here’s how: Make two (2) lists of all the attributes, characteristics, and qualities that you “must have” and “cannot have” in a partner. Refine the lists by clarifying the items of greater importance and eliminating the items of lesser importance. Then transfer the lists to a fresh piece of paper and place it in a place where you’ll be encouraged to review it often.
Once you have the image of your ideal partner firmly anchored in your mind, you will attract and be drawn towards those individuals who meet your unique set of needs and repelled away from those who do not.
If you want more information and guidance on this topic read my article entitled, “How to Find Love with a Person Who’s Right for You!”
5. Determine the Best Places to Find Them
Determine the best places for you to find your ideal partner. What are your greatest passions? Are there organizations or events that you can attend where others who share your passion are likely to gather? Finding someone to share what you love doing most is an ideal foundation for building a great relationship. Make a list of all the possibilities. Then go check them out. Join the ones that feel right and get involved without focusing on finding someone to date. That part will happen naturally.
You can come up with many dating sources within your present world as well. Do some brainstorming to identify all the possible places and activities where you have seen or might find a potential partner.
Online dating is an excellent resource for finding an ideal partner. The key is to find a reputable service with extensive matching criteria. You will find that the identifying process described in rule #4 will help you to recognize an outstanding service and an outstanding match.
If you want more information and guidance on this topic read my article entitled, “Best Places & Situations to Find the Love of Your Life.”
6. Learn about Dating Techniques and Rituals
Learning about dating techniques and rituals will not only improve your dating success but also your amount of enjoyment. I am not talking about just learning how to open doors and order wine. I am talking about learning the techniques that can enhance compatibility judgment, relationship development, and romance. The beginner to the dating veteran can benefit from a review of this information.
This topic is too broad to summarize into a couple of paragraphs that would do you much good. The important point here is that learning this information can greatly improve your dating experiences. Find a good book about dating that covers the areas mentioned above or read my article entitled, “Ultimate Dating Tips, Advice, & Strategies.”
7. Get Your Wardrobe Ready
This issue is usually more of a challenge for men than women, but there are a number of women that I’ve encountered that could benefit from this advice as well. Looking your best is the icing on the cake. Like you, the true quality of a cake is what’s on the inside. But with an uninviting outward appearance, there’s less of a chance someone will be inspired to find out what’s inside.
Do you have some clothes that are appropriate for dating? You can’t go out to a nightclub in a chef’s uniform, hospital scrubs, or a business suit. Either fish out a couple of outfits from your closet, wash, and iron them or invest in a few new ones. Try to dress fashionably and up-to-date. This may require that you stretch yourself a bit. Make your final choice on what you wear, however, based on what makes you feel the most confident. If you have accessories or a look that reflects your own unique style, go for it!
If you want some ideas on what clothes to buy, go to your local bookstore or library and look through some magazines. The goal here is not to spend a lot of money to impress the person you’re dating. The goal is to put together some outfits that make you look and feel your best.
8. Learn How to Handle Rejection
Rejection is a part of the dating experience that everyone hates. The fear of being rejected blocks us from reaching out to potential partners. If we change our perceptions about it, we can eliminate our fears.
We’ve been programmed to feel bad when we are rejected when 99% of the time it has nothing whatsoever to do with us. Mathematically, the chances of you coming into contact with someone, where favorable circumstances and mutual attraction exists, is probably at least 100 to 1 (one) or greater. In most situations, you do not have pre-existing knowledge of the person or their current relationship status, mood, likes, dislikes, etc.
Once you can accept the fact that it’s just a numbers game you can let go of the fear. Then you can move forward with more confidence knowing that the more you try, and the more rejections you accumulate, the closer you will be to reaching your target!
If you want more information and guidance on this topic read my article entitled, “How to Handle Rejection.”
9. Enjoy the Journey
Don’t get so caught up in trying to find the perfect partner that you don’t enjoy the journey. Have fun! Learn! Grow!
When you find yourself out on a date with someone who isn’t right for you, just shift your attention to what you can learn from them and enjoy the conversation. If it’s really an uncomfortable situation, end the date as quickly as possible and go enjoy the rest of your day. Don’t waste any time doing a postmortem, just say to yourself, “Next!”
When you’re alone, use the time to learn about yourself and how to enjoy your single life whether you’re dating someone or not. This means having the ability to go out to dinner alone on a Saturday night and truly enjoy it. Test yourself. Try it!
When a person is at peace being alone then their decision to be in a relationship is a matter of free choice and not an emotional necessity. When there is freedom to decide when and if a person wants to be in a relationship, a better choice in a partner can be made.
If you want more information and guidance on mastering the single lifestyle read my article entitled, “Singlehood!”
10. Ensure Lifelong Intimacy
Ensure lifelong intimacy by being tested and protected. No matter how truthful, safe, and healthy your partner/friend seems, make certain that an adequate birth control method is being used, and that you both get tested for sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) (aka STI’s, sexually transmitted infections) “before” your first sexual encounter. If you don’t have medical insurance to cover these expenses, most local health departments offer birth control counseling and STD testing for free or at a nominal fee. This would be appropriate for couples of any age. You may feel uncomfortable with the thought of discussing these subjects with your partner/friend, but it’s your life and these issues must be settled. One bad choice in this area can instantly ruin your life forever! For this reason, number 10 is the most important dating rule of all.
Dating Rules Epilogue
Most of us approach dating in a lackadaisical manner as if no special knowledge or skills are needed to be successful. The truth is dating is like everything else in life. You get what you put into it. These dating rules are only a blueprint for success. The rest is up to you!
If you’re looking to find a life-partner, then this endeavor is one of the most important of your life! If you’re new to dating or not looking for a serious relationship, then dating can either enhance or complicate your life.
You can learn through trial and error, but the price is usually a lot of pain when it comes to dating and relationships. Or you can master the necessary skills and reap the benefits of superior dating experiences and relationships. These dating rules provide a solid starting point.