This fishing analogy of being a keeper or a throwback is exactly what happens when you first meet somebody. It can also happen after your first dance, drink, or date.
In other words, are you a keeper, giver, and sharer? Or are you a throwback, taker, and stingy – out of necessity.
Many people look to a romantic relationship for what they can get out of it rather than what they can offer and contribute. These people want a relationship so that they can get over an ex, get companionship, get self-esteem, get emotional support, get financial support, and get admiration from friends and family. None of these are good reasons to want a relationship.
The other part is what do you have to offer? Many people seek a relationship even though several key areas of their life are unhealthy. These would include their emotional, physical, social, and financial health. I address each of these areas in this article entitled, “Self Evaluation & Preparation for Relationship Success.”
So if you’re fat, depressed, and $150,000 in debt you have no business trying to persuade a person to join your nightmare. Get your life in order first! Then you can enter a relationship from a position of strength. You’ll have the capacity to offer a meaningful contribution to the relationship. And you’ll be able to give love without measure of what’s being returned.
Lopsided relationships where one partner is up and the other is down can feel good for a while. But the “up” partner can soon feel bored and the “down” partner can soon feel weaker.
There is an alternative for those who are in dire straits, have no motivation to change, but still want a relationship. Find someone who’s in the same situation. One of two things will happen. (1) You’ll inspire each other in an upward direction. Or more likely (2), you’ll continue down the same path and maybe worse – a lot worse.
If you want a great relationship, you must be in great shape physically, emotionally, socially, and financially. Then you’ll be able to give and contribute to a mutually healthy union. And the most important part is that you will attract potential partners who match your fit state of affairs. You’ll easily recognize those whose life is in disarray. And, thankfully, most of them will not be attracted to you.