I discovered my most successful method for approaching women after years of exasperating failure. The secret I found is to approach them with indifference. What I mean is probably unlike what you’re thinking right now.
I would imagine that this technique would also work for women in approaching men. But in a more subtle way as most women do. Now that I think about it, I’ve had several women use what could have been a similar method and it worked very well on me. 🙂
If you approach with indifference as to the outcome of whether a person who you’re attracted to will respond favorably, it puts you in control. This does not mean that you’re arrogant or aloof. It means that you have fortified yourself with the fact that there are hundreds of other possibilities out there that may be better matches for you than the person you’re approaching.
Your state of mind in your approach is indifference, but your exterior expression is charming and engaged. This means you subtly display your attraction to them, initiate conversation with interesting questions (not sexual innuendos), give them your full attention, and listen carefully. Your tempo is relaxed and unhurried. Your attitude is enthusiastic about the moment and life, but not about them… yet!
Do you get the picture? You’re smooth and cool. And you’re confident! But keep in mind, you cannot fake this stuff. You have to get yourself into a state of mind of indifference, as I described. This will help to bring you into a state of calmness and self-assuredness.
You probably will not be able to do this the first time out. It took me years to master this technique. It came about through countless attempts and failures. It developed quite naturally, however.
I started noticing how different my results were in dissimilar situations. I saw that I was having a much higher rate of failure in traditional singles environments like nightclubs and singles dances and a much higher rate of success in business and public settings. The difference was my state of mind, which affected my approach. In a nightclub, for example, I had a sense of expectation and urgency. This is normal in nightclubs and at singles dances where everyone typically has the same mindset. In a business or public setting, I was unhurried and much less concerned, if at all, about the outcome. I was also more relaxed and confident.
So what was the key factor that made the difference? Time constraints and expectations were the problems. The answer for me was to establish a mindset of indifference as to the outcome. The solution is simple but very effective. This is because there are so many emotions tied to an expectation of a particular outcome. If you remove that factor, you’re more likely to be relaxed, authentic, and confident. And together this cocktail of positive emotions will act as an aphrodisiac to those who you approach. 😀
Do you get it? Go do it. Remember, like any other new skill, you need to go through some awkward experiences before you become competent.