Have you ever thought about being single after 50? Or are you near or over 50 now and struggling to come to terms with it? Then again, you may be one of those people who are quite content being single after 50. Either way, this discussion may ease your mind or perhaps even inspire you.
In my teens and 20’s, I would have never imagined that I’d still be single after 50. Yet I am totally at peace with it.
Living a life without marriage is unconventional, but it fits my unconventional outlook. When I see the unhappy marriages of several friends and relatives, I’m thrilled that I never got married.
This is not to say that marriage is not a good thing for some people because it is. Some people like constant companionship, or at least they have come to believe they do. I do not like it. At least I don’t 24-7-365. I love freedom more than I need constant companionship.
There are times, however, when I wonder if being married to or living with a person I love would be preferred. I recently experienced these feelings when I was facing the typical medical tests of a person over 50.
I hadn’t been through a medical exam for more than 20 years. So I was very concerned about the outcome, given the amount of partying I did when I was young. 🙂 One of those tests was the dreaded colonoscopy. Since they put you to sleep for the procedure, you need someone to drive you. Although my sister gladly did this, I thought about how nice it would be to go through all the tests and especially this one with a supportive wife nearby. This was the first time I felt I might have missed the boat by not getting married.
I was thrilled to learn that all my tests came out normal including the colonoscopy. (BTW: The colonoscopy was painless.) Once I got that news, my melancholy feelings about not being married subsided, but not entirely. There are certainly advantages to having a strong, loving supporter nearby when you’re facing serious challenges, especially life-threatening ones.
You may wonder why I never married. You might think, “Is he weird? Is he a hermit? Is he ugly? Does he have some strange sexual problem?” The answer to all of those things would be no! In most cases, the truth is quite the opposite. The only exception would be the hermit characterization as I do consider myself a bit of a loner, but not a hermit.
I’ve had many women who wanted to marry me. I only considered marrying a few of them and I came very close a couple of times. I’m sure my parents (mother and stepfather) constant fighting made me think twice about marriage. But I believe that my love of freedom and independence had the strongest influence.
The idea of making joint decisions and compromises on key aspects of my daily life is unappealing to me. And marriage is chock-full of these. There are situations, however, when I am facing a serious decision that I think having a loving life partner who is equally invested in it would be nice. Perhaps very nice.
The opposite can happen too, however. If your partner no longer loves you and you’re facing a serious illness or business problem, the heartache can be excruciating! This would especially be true if they are tied to you financially or as a parent if you have children.
Many people would not want to be single after 50. For me, I’m totally cool with it and I’m well past 50. In fact, due to maturity and acquired wisdom, it’s one of the best periods of my life.
Enjoy being single after 50 or at whatever age you are now. Do not waste your time looking back, comparing, or predicting. Instead, stay in the moment and appreciate the benefits of being single.