Dating questions can be used for a variety of purposes. One of the most valuable is to use questions to determine the character of the person you’re dating. In addition, they can be used to learn about compatibility in specific areas. They can be used to increase intimacy and romance. They can be used to enhance dating experiences. They can be used to improve your relationship. And they can be used during remote communications like dating site chats, emails, texts, calls, and more.
There is little for you to gain by telling your date everything about yourself. Much more can be gained by being a good questioner, listener, and observer. To get the most benefit, do not split your attention between what they are saying and what you are thinking. You’ll miss too much. There will be plenty of time for evaluation later. Actually, your subconscious mind will do the evaluation and give you an answer via your intuition, or gut feelings. To learn about how to use your intuition, read this article, Intuition – How to Access, Recognize, & Trust It.
Tactical Dating Questions
400 questions. Plus 100 ideas & pointers.
Book by Brad Paul, Solotopia
Includes questions from this article.
Human resource professionals use strategic questions to get people to talk about themselves in a way where they unwittingly reveal key aspects of their character. Questions like these, used in a date setting, can also be revealing as well as lead to stimulating conversation. You can keep them from sounding like interview questions by presenting them playfully in a game-like way. Also, talk about the dating questions with the understanding that you will answer each of them yourself.
Here are eight categories of dating questions to…
Learn the basics
- Where did you grow up?
- Do you have any brothers or sisters?
- Where did you go to high school?
- Where did you go to college?
- What was your major in college?
- What are your favorite sports?
- What sort of work do you do?
Reveal character
- Which three (3) famous people do you admire most?
- Which three (3) famous people do you NOT respect?
- Which three (3) famous people do you think are most like you?
- Which three (3) famous people would you most want to be like?
- Which three (3) famous people do you most NOT want to be like?
- What personal values and principles are the most important to you?
- What friendship values and principles are the most important to you?
- What marriage values and principles are the most important to you?
- What community values and principles are the most important to you?
- What world values and principles are the most important to you?
- Using single words or phrases, how would you describe yourself?
- Where do you see yourself in five (5) years to 10 years?
Discover similarities
- What are your favorite websites?
- What are your favorite television shows?
- What are your favorite movies?
- What kinds of music do you like?
- Who are your favorite bands?
- Who are your favorite singers?
- What kind of magazines do you read?
- What type of books do you read?
- What is your favorite food?
- What is your favorite dessert?
- What is your favorite snack?
Determine compatibility
- What is your favorite way to spend an evening during your workweek?
- What is your favorite way to spend an evening during your days off from work?
- What are your favorite ways to spend a vacation?
- Is participation in family gatherings and celebrations important to you?
- What are your spiritual beliefs and how do you practice them?
Note: The goal of the next four (4) questions is to determine if they are into health and fitness.
- Do you look at the nutritional information on food labels as you shop?
- Do you take vitamin supplements?
- What kind of exercise or sports activity do you like to do?
- Are you a member of a gym or health club? Or do you have equipment at home?
- Do you look at price tags when you shop? Or do you just get what you want and not worry about the price or getting a deal? Note: The goal of this question is to determine if they are frugal or spendthrifts. This issue breaks up more couples than any other.
- If you could afford any car, which one would you buy? Note: The goal of this question is to confirm whether they are truly frugal or spendthrifts. The answer to this question also indicates their position on energy efficiency and environmental issues.
- How would you describe the perfect house including the decor, furnishings, appliances, and landscaping? Note: The answers to this question indicate their position on interior design, money management, energy efficiency, and environmental issues.
- Is punctuality important to you or are you usually a little late?
- Do you like everything to be well planned and organized or are you more casual?
- Do set short and long-term goals for yourself?
- What is the formula for good communication in a romantic relationship?
- What do you see as the best way for a couple to resolve conflicts?
- How would you describe your needs for affection in a relationship?
- How would you describe your needs for sex in a relationship?
Create intimacy
- What is your greatest achievement?
- What is your greatest disappointment?
- What is your best attribute?
- What is your worst attribute?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What is your greatest passion?
- What do you enjoy doing the most?
- What are your top three (3) most important dreams?
- Would you create a list of 10 things that best describes me using single words or phrases, if I do the same for you? Note: It is recommended that you give yourselves several days to work on the list before you meet to exchange or present them. This will give you time to come up with a meaningful list and develop some tantalizing anticipation! Both steps provide a great opportunity for you to learn about yourself and the person you’re dating.
Inspire romance
- What are your favorite songs for love and romance?
- What are your favorite men’s/women’s colognes/perfumes for love and romance?
- What are your favorite scents for love and romance? Note: This would include scents from a fireplace, incense, scented candles, and pheromones. Pheromones are natural chemical scents the body produces to attract others.
- What are your favorite foods for love and romance?
- What are your favorite places for love and romance? Note: This would include places such as a particular beach, lake, park, restaurant, nightclub, hotel, mountain cabin, or room within your home.
- Would you describe your perfect love affair from the beginning to making a commitment to each other, if I do the same?
- Would you describe your perfect romantic evening, if I do the same? Note: It is recommended that you write this description and then exchange, read, or talk about it during your next date. Be sure to give yourselves several days so that you can come up with a thorough description. This activity will give you insights into your romantic future and the secrets to pleasing them.
Increase dating fun
- What are the top three (3) places you would like to go together?
- What are the top three (3) famous places you would like to see together?
- What are the top three (3) amusement parks you would like to enjoy together?
- What are the top three (3) concerts, plays, or musicals you would like to see together?
- What annual community events would you like to attend together?
- What annual family events would you like to attend together?
- Would you come up with three (3) usual ways we could spend a day or an evening together if I do the same? Note: It is recommended that you give yourselves several days to work on this project before you meet to present your ideas. This will give you time to come up with some creative and fun activities.
- Are there any projects or activities we can do together? Suggestions: Attend a dance class, self-improvement seminar, or college course. Join a community service organization, sports club, gym, or religious group. Build a greenhouse, birdhouse, or doghouse. Plant a vegetable garden, flower garden, or rock garden.
Enhance relationship
- Do you have any concerns that you would like to discuss with me?
- Do you have any questions that you would like to ask me?
- Are there any needs that you have that I am not fulfilling?
- Are there any passions that you have that I have not fully recognized?
- Are there any areas where you need my support?
- Are there any issues about you that I do not fully understand?
- Are there any relationship skills that I might consider improving?
- Are there any other areas of my life that I might consider improving?
Here is the best way to use these dating questions.
- Write down the dating questions that have particular meaning for you.
- Allow the dating questions you’ve selected to arise in your mind naturally during the course of your dating conversations.
- If you are going to ask a series of questions, present the idea of doing so in a playful game-like way.
- Tell them that you will answer these or any other questions they may have.
Use these dating questions to learn about the person you’re seeing, predict the likelihood of a successful relationship, improve your dating experiences, and refine your relationship.