Have you ever dated, related, and/or mated with a new partner without any alcohol or any other drugs being consumed by either person? There are many surprising benefits and rewards when you do. You’ll just need to break free of some common beliefs about alcohol and dating.
Almost all social activities involve the consumption of alcohol. There are of course religions, communities, and countries that don’t allow it. And they seem to socialize just fine without it.
For those of us who grew up in a culture where drinking is well accepted, it’s hard to imagine a social activity without the presence of alcohol whether you are a drinker or not.
There is one group and social activity where alcohol is the predominant feature. The group is adult singles and the activity is dating. Unless you belong to a religion or live in a place where alcohol is not permitted, drinking is an encouraged, sought after, and a strongly desired part of single life and dating.
It starts when you’re young, shy, and inexperienced. All of these things are a normal part of growing up, even in early adulthood. But when someone gives you a beer and it instantly removes all of those uncomfortable feelings, alcohol becomes your reliable remedy for shyness and insecurity.
After you have a few drinks, you are no longer too shy or too fearful to talk to the person you’ve got a crush on. You are no longer fearful about going to that party because you know that your shyness remedy will surely be available. And to make certain that there is an ample supply, you may bring your own hooch. Or you might drink a few before you arrive.
This practice continues into adulthood. Even though by then you’ve gained some self-confidence, you still like the calming and courage building effects that alcohol provides. This is especially true when you go to parties and nightclubs, and particularly when you go on dates.
Here’s the reality.
Alcohol “temporarily” deadens (anesthetizes) your insecurities and your fears. They will still be there when you sober up. And they will stay there until you consciously face them.
Alcohol does not give you self-confidence and courage. It just numbs the feelings of shyness, insecurity, and fear. All drinkers know this deep down inside, but they prefer to ignore it. They don’t want to face the truth.
How do you feel the next morning after a night of particularly heavy drinking? Don’t you feel shyer, more insecure, and fearful? Alcohol can eventually take you to that hellish place permanently! Just ask the former doctor, engineer, teacher, husband, father, wife, mother, or pastor on skid row. They never thought in a million years that alcohol could do that to them.
The disadvantage with alcohol when it comes to dating and building a new relationship is that it not only deadens your shyness, but it also deadens your ability to think, evaluate, communicate, listen, comprehend, and respond appropriately. You’re probably thinking, “I have extremely intelligent conversations after I’ve had a few drinks.” Do you really? Think about it. Better yet, ask some of the people who were with you during these times. Or think back to how “intelligent” the other people were during their “conversations” when you weren’t quite as drunk as them, YET!
Alcohol is not selective in what it anesthetizes. It numbs everything including your judgment, your romantic responses, your libido, and your sexual sensitivities. For men, alcohol also “reduces” testosterone levels and the size of their sexual organs with prolonged heavy use. Great stuff isn’t it.
The good news is that you can greatly enhance the quality of your dates and romantic activities by not drinking any alcohol. Or any other drugs.
Can you imagine how exciting it would be to go out on a date with a person that you’re crazy about when you have all your intellect and senses operating at full capacity? Can you imagine making love to that person with all your mental and physical abilities working at 100 percent!
I drank alcohol during dates and before making love for the first time with a new partner countless times. And I can’t deny that I had a lot of fun. The problem is that I cannot “vividly” remember these experiences intellectually or physically. The relationship development aspect was also compromised.
I’ve also been on dates and made love for the first time with a new partner without any alcohol in me and I can tell that there is absolutely no comparison. None! Doesn’t even come close.
One of the greatest romantic relationships of my life started and developed without any alcohol present. There was no alcohol in our systems the first time we kissed and the first time we made love and both were magnificent! Because our relationship was built totally on conscious, intelligent, and honest communication, by the time we had our first romantic encounters instant deep intimacy was possible. And without alcohol’s anesthetizing effects, we could fully experience and appreciate those encounters. It was at this point that I realize how much I was missing when I used alcohol. The experience felt as if I had drunk 10 shots of consciousness and sensitivity raising liquid superfoods instead of alcohol. I can enjoy these memories to their fullest today because I can remember every detail. I can’t enjoy romantic memories to their fullest when alcohol was involved.
It just occurred to me that replacing alcohol with super foods on dates could lead to some incredible results. These foods would dramatically raise your mental and physical capabilities and sensitivities. Alcohol does the exact opposite!
Right now, your subconscious mind is probably feeding you with information and images about now drinking alcohol is a normal part of enjoying life, romance, and dating. Where do you think that information and imaginary came from?
After all, we’re talking about a poison. Why do you think you vomit after you drink a lot of it? You don’t throw up when you drink a lot of water or (pure) vegetable or fruit juice. Why do you feel deathly ill the next morning after you’ve filled your belly full of it the night before?
The information came from repeated lifetime exposure to advertising messages and images created and broadcasted by beer, wine, and liquor producers. You’re probably thinking now, “People cannot be brainwashed by advertising. Intelligent people can make sensible choices.” Can they be unaffected by exposure to decades of advertising in every media imaginable?
Now you’re probably thinking, “I’ve heard that a couple of glasses of wine per day is good for your health.” Who do you think finances those studies and promotes the findings… when they are favorable? I am pretty confident that it’s the wine industry.
How often do you only have two drinks though? After you’ve had a couple and the alcohol has begun to do its magic, you lose your resolve and have more. We all do it. After a few drinks, we are no longer in control. The alcohol is. And beer, wine, and liquor distributors know this and rely on it for sales! If you don’t believe this you are being naive. If a beer, wine, or liquor producer proclaims that they don’t believe it, they are deceiving themselves or you!
The perfect example of how advertising can manipulate is in the promotion of tobacco. Through extremely clever advertising and promotional activities with Hollywood studios, cigarette manufacturers convinced the world during the early to mid 20th century that their product would make a person sexy, cool, successful, and powerful. What a crock! They did this with a product that has the unquestionable ability to KILL or maim its user. And it is extremely addictive! So not only did cigarette companies brainwash the public but they got them physically addicted to a highly poisonous substance as well. I read that pure nicotine has been used to euthanize horses!
Although you probably feel otherwise by now, the purpose of this article isn’t to convince you to stop drinking. Although it wouldn’t be a bad idea. Its objective is to get you to question and challenge commonly held beliefs about alcohol and dating, relating, and mating.
What I am suggesting is that you summons the courage to meet, date, relate, and mate without alcohol. And that you commit to this for 30 days or more. There are numerous benefits and rewards if you do. You will develop courage, social skills, communication abilities, and romantic sensitivities. You will also build a closer and more refined relationship.
If you’ve never started and developed a relationship without alcohol, then it will require a lot of courage in the beginning. But that’s the exciting part of this wonderful adventure.
If you’re already dating someone, you can still do this. Just ask your partner to join you in a 30 to 90-day dating adventure without the mask and crutch of alcohol. Challenge them to take on this relationship building adventure without any safety nets or protective coverings (alcohol).