Knowing how to use intuition is particularly important to the unique demands of being single. As a normal part of this lifestyle, singles frequently meet new people. Sometimes these new acquaintances develop into intimate relationships. This requires that singles are able to judge a person’s character, intent, and sincerity straight away. This is especially true when you consider the issues of sexually transmitted diseases (STD), pregnancy, and rape.
Intuition is especially useful when we’re trying to make a decision on starting or ending a committed romantic relationship. A bad choice here can have a devastating impact on a person’s life. When we’re at the height of passion or in the depths of conflict it’s nearly impossible to think clearly. Our truest and most reliable source for making these decisions is our intuition.
Intuition can also be used to determine if you’re dating the right person for you or if you’re in a toxic relationship or friendship. It is, of course, useful in many other areas of life as well.
People call this ability many things. I included as many of them as I could think of below along with their definition.
- Intuition – Knowledge obtained from an ability to understand or know something immediately without needing to think about it, learn it, or discover it by using reason.
- Gut Feelings – A strong belief about someone or something which cannot completely be explained and is not necessarily decided by reasoning.
- Instincts – The way people or animals naturally react or behave, without having to think or learn about it.
- Sixth Sense – A power of perception seemingly independent of the five senses; keen intuition.
- Premonition – A feeling that something, especially something unpleasant, is going to happen.
- Hunch – An idea which is based on feeling and for which there is no proof.
*Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary – Online
All these definitions have similar attributes. They all point to the ability to receive information and guidance from sources beyond the realm of a person’s conscious, reasoning mind. They also suggest that the information is highly relevant and perceptive.
Intuition draws its information from many sources. One of the most important is our subconscious mind. Here’s how I’ve come to understand the subconscious mind. Our minds are like an iceberg. The majority of it lies beneath the surface, and that which lies beneath the surface is our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is continuously working on the tasks given to it by our conscious mind. It never rests. Since it represents the majority of our mental capacity, coupled with the fact that it contains all the experiences of our life, it is an extremely powerful and accurate resource. This is where our intuition comes from. It is produced in our subconscious and articulated in our conscious mind.
Another source that our intuition draws from is the vibrations it receives from people, places, and things. John Assaraf, who is one of the teachers featured in the book and movie The Secret, describes this very well in his (audio) book entitled, Having It All. He says,
“Intuition picks up the vibrations or intangible feelings that seem right or don’t. It is that feeling in your gut about a person even when they haven’t said a word. It’s that feeling you get when danger is present. We must become believers in our own intuition and recognize that it’s trying to make us aware of something. To tap into your intuition start feeling with your gut more and your head less. It can be developed by paying attention and slowing down.”
So it’s in the vibrations that your intuition receives from people, places, and things that tell you if something is wrong or right. The person could be a rapist or a person who instantly falls in love with you. The place could be a coastal town where a tsunami is approaching or a mountain retreat where you come up with a million dollar idea. The thing could be a rental car that suddenly loses its brakes or a race car that carries you around the last lap of a championship race at record speeds to victory.
These negative and positive vibrations interface with the information contained in your subconscious mind and deliver a feeling or sense of either danger or safety, move away or go towards, yes or no.
In his now classic book, Think and Grow Rich (The 21st-Century Edition – audio), Napoleon Hill describes other sources that our intuition draws upon. He talks about our intuition’s ability to pick up and receive information from another person’s mind, another person’s subconscious, and from infinite intelligence. Infinite intelligence is just one of the many names that traditions have called it. Some call this source God, their higher power, or the universe.
The strength and value of information received from infinite intelligence require no explanation. It clearly holds the greatest power and influence.
Getting information from another person’s mind is a hard concept to swallow. It was that way with me the first time I heard it in Hill’s audiobook, but I have since come to understand it better by tuning into it. I have found that it’s not the thoughts of others that become clear, but rather the positive or negative vibrations that you “feel” as John Assaraf described. If you think about it, you might be able to pick out a few incidents in your life where this may have occurred.
Have you ever sensed that a person was angry with you or disliked you without them or anyone else giving you any verbal or nonverbal (body language) information whatsoever? Could it be that this information was drawn in by your intuition from their thoughts? Or, from the negative vibrations created by their thoughts?
Now let’s reverse this scenario. You are secretly angry with someone and you’re beginning to dislike them intensely. Let’s say this person is in a position of authority over you like a boss, a group leader, or a college professor. You can’t afford to let them know how you really feel. In fact, you must act in just the opposite way. Pick out someone where this applies right now. Have you ever noticed that when your true feelings about them are strongly present in your mind that they are cool and aloof even though you are being friendly and engaging? Could it be that their intuition was receiving information from your thoughts without them being aware of it?
Here are a couple of examples from the singles lifestyle experience.
Imagine this scenario. You go to a singles dance and you are introduced to a large number of potential partners as part of an icebreaker activity. Afterward, you go off to the side to collect your thoughts. You consider who you found attractive. Of those, you consider which ones liked you. Because most everyone was either nervous and shy or overly confident and animated it was nearly impossible to determine. You had a “feeling,” however, that one or two of them, in particular, liked you even though they gave you no verbal or nonverbal indications of this whatsoever.
Has this ever happened to you? Did you later have a conversation with one of them and discover that they did indeed find you attractive and that they wanted to get to know you better? Under these unnatural circumstances, how would you have known that they were having those positive feelings about you unless you received it from their thoughts by way of your intuition?
I know what some of you may be thinking. You might say, “You can just tell. You can see it in their eyes and in the way they react to you when you are introduced.” This is true with some people but not the majority. Most importantly, the quirky circumstances of an icebreaker activity can block and hide these subtle indicators and signs. That’s why I used this particular example. The point here is that by relying strictly on visual and audio senses you could overlook a “real” diamond in a crowd of cubic zirconias (simulated diamonds). Let me give you one more example.
You’ve been in a committed romantic relationship for almost two (2) years. Your relationship seems to be moving in a positive direction, your sex life is good, and there are no major problems in either of your lives. Without getting any information from any person or physical source, and without any noticeable changes in your partner’s behavior, you begin to get a bad feeling. You are getting the feeling that your partner is having an affair. You have no evidence of any kind but you just know. A few months later you find out that it’s true. How did you know this? Could it be that you received this information from both your partner’s thoughts and from the person whom he or she was having an affair?
A note of caution is appropriate here. If a person has a jealousy problem, they can attract these circumstances by continually focusing on this unpleasant outcome. If feelings of jealousy and past resentments are kept active in a person’s thought life they will continue to attract partners who will cheat on them. They will also create an environment within their relationship that encourages their partner to be unfaithful. You get what you think about. This is commonly referred to as the Law of Attraction. The example I gave above is not a person who has unresolved issues that might cause a particular outcome.
The information received in these examples would have little value to you until it interfaced with your subconscious mind and other sources. Once it does, it is communicated to your conscious mind in a form that is understandable. This activity and voice is your intuition. Important note: Do not confuse self-talk (aka: inner voice) with your intuition. They are not the same.
It’s the combination of the powers of your subconscious and the input drawn in from all the sources that we’ve discussed that produce the insights and judgments that are delivered through your intuition. Your subconscious receives the input, compares it with its vast storage of data, and then sends a personalized decoded message to your conscious mind. This specialized message is your intuition.
Although intuition comes without effort, we must be receptive to it, or it can come and go without us ever realizing its significance. In order to recognize it and gain its benefit, we must get into the habit of being constantly receptive. To get ourselves to act upon it, we must trust the integrity of the message. Certainly, you’ve heard the comment, “Go with your gut instincts.” when faced with a decision. This encouraging remark is a call to trust your intuition.
Our minds perform at their peak when we are relaxed. That’s why we often receive ideas and solutions to problems during sleep, a shower, or a walk. One way to access your intuition is to get yourself into a deeply relaxed state. Find a quiet place where you can sit alone undisturbed. Get yourself relaxed by closing your eyes and focusing mentally on a single calming image like a beautiful tree, mountain, or lake. Don’t try to control your thoughts; instead, allow them to flow freely. At the same time, let yourself completely feel the thoughts that come into your mind. Then simply be an observer of the thoughts that enter your consciousness. Don’t attempt to force out answers or solutions; just let them come, as they will. The more that you do this the better you’ll become.
One of the best ways to learn how to trust your intuition is to record in writing the messages that you think you are receiving. Then see how those things turn out. Eventually, you’ll learn how to identify the feelings associated with delivery of information from your intuition.
Our intuition is our internal navigation system. It tells us when we are on or off course. We just need to learn how to recognize and trust its signals.