Do you fear being alone? Do you spend time with people you do not like to avoid being alone? Do you go into a mad rush to find a new partner after a breakup? Do you get depressed if you are faced with spending a weekend or holiday alone? If so, you are not alone — as ironic as that sounds. 🙂
Almost everyone experiences these feeling, including me when I was much younger. There is a simple pathway to never having those unpleasant feelings again. The pathway is to embrace being alone! In other words, face your fears, embrace the mystery, and learn to enjoy being alone. Once you do this, no person or situation will have a hold on you. If you’re in a toxic relationship of any kind, for example, you’ll have no qualms about ending it.
To embrace being alone means that you…
- Learn to accept periods when you are alone.
- Use the discomfort of being alone to strengthen your character.
- Use the mystery of being alone to get to know your inner self.
- Face your fear of being alone until it dissolves.
- Learn to appreciate the value of being alone.
- Learn to recognize the benefits of being alone.
- Learn to enjoy being alone in private and in public.
- Learn to have a great time when you are alone.
All of the above comes by doing them. I also found some books that helped to change my attitude about being alone. They center on why learning to be alone is important. One of my favorites is “Intimate Connections” by David D. Burns, M.D.
I was also inspired to read about many famous people through history, like Henry David Thoreau, who learned to relish the benefits of being alone. Here are some quotes about being alone from some of these people.
“I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.” – Henry David Thoreau
“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.” – Wayne Dyer
“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington
“All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone.” – Jean de la Bruyere
“If you wanted to do something absolutely honest, something true, it always turned out to be a thing that had to be done alone.” – Richard Yates
“Be able to be alone. Lose not the advantage of solitude, and the society of thyself.” – Thomas Browne
“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.” – Laurence Sterne
“All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone.” – Blaise Pascal
“Spend some time alone every day.” – Dalai Lama
If you struggle with a fear of being alone that causes you to make poor decisions and have lower self-esteem, set yourself free by embracing being alone. When you start to enjoy being alone, you will feel empowered! You will feel in control. And your self-confidence will skyrocket!