Not everyone is meant to be married. Some people prefer a completely free lifestyle. For these individuals, their need for freedom is greater than their need for continuous companionship.
Notice I did not say some people prefer to be alone. Although that may be true for some, people who don’t want to get married enjoy being with people but not in a fixed way 24-7-365.
Today there isn’t nearly as much pressure to get married as there once was except within some religious groups. Up until the late 20th Century, there was tremendous pressure to get married. This was due to limited career opportunities for women. Now women can live on their own without needing to get married to gain men’s income to do so.
Nevertheless, some people still feel pressure from their partner to get married when they simply don’t want the same for themselves. Their parents and friends may try to make them feel guilty for this choice as if they were violating some moral code. People who do not want to marry are not immoral, selfish, or weird. They are simply unique.
If you are facing this dilemma, there is no reason whatsoever to question yourself about this issue. You may not be the marrying kind, and that’s okay. You may have some qualities that marrying types do not have like being an independent thinker, a nonconformist, or a pioneer.
If our society has evolved toward acceptance of all people regardless of their ethnicity, religion, and sexual orientation, then certainly a person whose temperament doesn’t fit the marriage model should be accepted as well.
There is one exception to this line of thinking, however. If you have brought children into this world, your decision should lean in favor of getting married. Children don’t have a choice in this matter and it’s the parent’s responsibility to care for them. A marriage provides the best structure for raising children. As I see it, the only reason to get married these days is if you have or intend to have children.
As with all so-called moral issues, there will be those who will push their beliefs and more often their personal choices (since they are married) on you. Because the institution of marriage is an embedded central feature in most societies, subtle pressures to follow the norm remain regardless of how advanced your part of the world may be.
I can’t imagine living in a place where there is no choice as to whether you’ll get married. The extreme social pressures in such a society or community dictate your decision or you face serious to extreme consequences.
I once worked with a man who I greatly respected whom I later found out had never married. Before I learned of his marital status, I often admired his seemingly carefree attitude and the perpetual twinkle in his eyes. It was as though he didn’t have a care in the world. He didn’t. He was free! He was a Mustang!
If you’re a person who wants to be married, let me give you this advice. Don’t waste your time with a person who has any hint of not being the marrying type. There is no reason to feel hurt or angry. Their free spirit temperament has nothing to do with you. It’s not a bad reflection on you if they choose freedom over marriage. So let them go for what brings them joy and you do the same!
If you’re a person who doesn’t want to be married, learn to value your uniqueness. And embrace your inner Mustang!