Many people are so caught up in their daily routines and habits that they become blind to things that are turn-offs to other people, especially potential romantic partners. If there were rules for intimacy, turn-offs would certainly be included.
If you have had a string of dating failures, one area that I strongly recommend you look at is whether there are things about you, your home, or your lifestyle that are turn-offs to other people. This analysis will require honesty, objectivity, and courage.
If you are new or just returning to the dating scene and you want to maximize your rate of success, I recommend that you evaluate yourself, your home, and your lifestyle for any possible turn-offs as well. Don’t get alarmed though. It might be just a small issue that can easily be fixed but makes a huge difference.
Here’s the list of turn-offs along with a description, fix, and a turn-on tip.
A person with a negative attitude usually sees the glass as half empty and rarely half full. They look for faults in people and things. They often criticize, condemn, and complain.
On a date, these individuals will dominate the conversation with criticisms and complaints about whatever comes to their mind. If you’re at a restaurant, they will likely find fault with the food or service.
They will also badmouth their ex or ex’s (girl/boy friend, spouse), boss or former bosses, and even their friends or former friends. Their negativism often extends to how they see themselves, which doubles the turn-off factor.
Fix: Do whatever is necessary to rid yourself of negativism. You’ll notice a huge difference in your romantic and personal life once you do. There are several outstanding books that can help you with this on my recommended books page.
Tip: Being an eternal optimist is a turn-on!
A person with bad manners makes no effort to be courteous. They are rude more often than not. Whether it is because of immaturity, ignorance, or arrogance, they will do such things as…
- Use lots of profanity.
- Speak rudely to food servers.
- Talk while chewing their food.
- Make sexually vulgar comments.
- Walk ahead of a lady into rooms.
- Not open doors for a lady.
- Cancel dates at the last minute.
- Arrive late for dates and events.
- Not bathe or dress nicely for dates.
- Wear inappropriate clothes on dates.
- Not have plans when they arrive for dates.
Fix: Ask someone with outstanding manners to go over the rules and techniques. Or read a book on etiquette. You’ll notice a big difference in the way people respond to you.
Tip: A person with a refined knowledge and skill in etiquette is both classy and sexy!
A person without goals or plans for their life has no purpose, direction, or motivation. This disposition will be reflected in their attitude, behavior, and self-esteem. This is a major turn-off. And it is boring!
Fix: Establish some goals that excite you and begin working on them immediately! If aspects of achieving a particular goal scare you, facing those fears will strengthen your character and enhance your appeal.
Tip: A person with goals that they are passionate about is self-confident, attractive, and interesting.
These are outfits that are dirty, wrinkly, mismatched, overly conservative, overly revealing, out of date, and/or just plain ugly. The cost, brand, designer, and store isn’t important. Anyone can afford to wash and iron their clothes. And if you’re color or style blind, you can work that out too!
Fix: Wash and carefully iron your clothes or take them to a cleaning service. Learn about fashion by visiting online magazines and websites that specialize in this area and high-end stores. The goal is to learn about current trends and styles, coordinating clothing and accessories, and your tastes. Wearing outfits that make you look and feel great can boost your self-confidence and appeal.
Tip: A person wearing a clean, perfectly ironed, and well-coordinated outfit regardless of its cost or label is attractive. A person wearing an extremely expensive designer outfit that is dirty, wrinkly, and mismatched is repulsive.
A smelly home is one that has a very unpleasant odor that assaults your smelling senses the moment you enter it. The resident may be completely unaware of this odor because they have gotten used to it. Many things can cause this problem, but here are the main causes.
- Poorly maintained kitchen and bathroom.
- Dirty carpets, furniture, and window coverings.
- Dirty pets (dogs, cats, birds) and pet areas.
Fix: Clean your home from top to bottom and keep it that way. You will appreciate your home more and so will your guests.
Tip: A clean home is alluring.
This is a bedroom that is decorated with the same things a person had when they were a kid. A particularly strong turn-off is having a large number of family pictures, especially those of parents and grandparents, displayed on the walls and/or furniture.
Fix: Get rid of your childhood stuff. Put your pictures in a digital photo album. Redecorate your room like a 5-star hotel room, including the bedding. The style and colors should, of course, meet your tastes. These changes can cause you and your love life to grow.
Tip: A generic (no childhood items or family pics) bedroom like a 5-star hotel is a turn-on. In fact, an entire home decorated this way is a giant turn-on!
If the eyes are the window to a person’s soul, the bathroom is the window to the cleanliness of person’s home. A dirty bathroom is a gigantic turn-off. It reflects a person’s standards on hygiene, including their own body!
Fix: Make sure your bathroom is immaculate and keep it that way. Strive for the look and fragrance of a 5-star hotel. Once completed, you’ll appreciate its pleasantness and so will your guests.
Tip: A super clean and nice smelling bathroom invites showers and baths for two. 🙂
This is a car or truck that is dirty inside and out and full of trash and misplaced items. A person’s car is often the first big possession a date sees. The condition and cleanliness of a person’s car regardless of its age, value, or prestige is a strong reflection on that person’s character. It could be reasonably assumed that if a person’s car is dirty, so is their home and possibly their body as well.
Fix: Wash, wax, and detail your car or truck. Make it look as nice as possible. And keep it that way, especially for dates. After you’re done, you’ll appreciate your car more and so will those who ride in it.
Tip: A clean car increases the perceived value of the vehicle and the person.
People with bad breath are usually not aware of it. This is especially true of smokers. If you notice people, and especially dates or romantic partners, pulling away from you when you are speaking close to them, you may have bad breath.
If you’re a smoker, you will be better off quitting or just dating other smokers. You’ll likely be oblivious to how bad your breath smells until you quit. By the way, smoking causes periodontal disease, which is the leading cause of bad breath.
Fix: See your dentist for an evaluation and cleaning. Floss and brush your teeth twice daily and see your dentist every six months. Once you do this, you’ll be able to speak closely and kiss without concerns.
Tip: Fresh breath is a turn-on.
These are teeth that are badly stained and full of plaque. Not everyone has or can afford perfectly straight and super white teeth. But there is no excuse for having dirty teeth. It’s a turn-off. And it makes your breath smell bad too!
Fix: Get your teeth cleaned by a dental hygienist and maintain them at home with flossing and brushing. After you have had them cleaned, you will be able to smile with confidence
Tip: Clean teeth rock!
By now, I’m sure you can see the advantages of doing such an evaluation. Not only can these changes improve your love life, but they can also lead to personal development and a better life.