I did not know what it meant to be truly in love until I had found myself there. I wish I had put more faith into the explanations of those who had actually experienced it. This is not to say that you should put your complete faith in my description, but I would give it strong consideration knowing what it’s like.
I had been in love many times throughout my life, especially when I was in my teens and twenties. Or so I thought… emphatically! Looking back I now know that it was more hormones, ego, and social recognition that made me feel that I was madly in love. It felt magical, and as it turned out it was just a fairytale in most cases. The memories are wonderful and valid, but they don’t compare to the deep and powerful feelings of being truly in love.
I found that there are two opposite criteria for being truly in love in comparison to when it’s something much less. For comparison sake, I am going to call these two loves “being infatuated” and “being in love.” Here’s the definition from my dictionary for infatuate: To inspire with foolish and unreasoning love and attention. I would say that is a good description.
Infatuation can happen in a very short time with very limited information about the other person. It is also concentrated toward self-gratification in the areas of sexual relief, ego boosting, and social admiration.
When you truly fall in love with someone there is a major shift from self-centeredness to being more concerned about the happiness and welfare of the other person. The other key difference is in how well you’ve gotten to know them. Knowing how important getting to know them is, I find it impossible to believe in love at first sight, or first meeting, or first date, or first week, or even first month.
Knowing how magnificent your first touch, your first kiss, and your first intercourse can be is why I encourage putting off sex until you’ve become friends in so many of my articles. There is absolutely no comparison between making love with a true friend and making love with a fantasy friend.
If you’re not at this place in your life right now and you’d rather play the field, that’s okay. But don’t expect too much in what you get from the relationship. Maybe you’re just not interested in a deep and close relationship right now. And that’s okay too! It’s better to be honest with yourself and especially your partners than to put on a facade in order to selfishly get what you want.
Everyone puts on their best act during the first 3 to 12 of weeks dating. It’s after this point that you start to discover their true character and their true feelings about you!
I’ve dated many women. Knowing what I know today, the absolute best plan for having the ultimate loving, intimate, long-lasting, and sexually fulfilling experience is to make an agreement with your dating partner to spend the first one to three months of your relationship having fun, getting to know each other, and becoming friends. The buildup and the excitement of this process can be orgasmic! The longer you wait, the better it gets. This process can also establish a rock solid relationship foundation and glorious memories that can last a lifetime!